Sacred Hours


Another piece of advice saved, just for you, from a lifetime of lessons learned…your actions speak louder than your words. For over a decade, I’ve had the opportunity to mother two amazing children. During those years, I’ve noticed two sets of eyes watching everything I do. Talk about pressure folks…they keep you accountable and help you prioritize quickly to what’s most important for you. This is coming from someone completely dedicated to both my family and my work.


In order to ensure my own sanity was maintained during several high stress jobs I had to set boundaries. Because, as I already know that you’re being the best person you can be, it’s hard to say no to anyone or any opportunity. Your children will want you to play, the spouse or significant other will want your full attention, and that email in-box just won’t stop filling up. Then there are all the extras you’re asked to do, like attend work related after hour functions, donate time with the children’s school and then work towards bettering yourself in whatever extra you can add to your day. I’m exhausted just thinking about this. Luckily, you can take this unmanageable load to a tolerable and even enjoyable undertaking by setting limits.


You can advance efforts to create the environment that best suits you. There are jobs that have little wiggle room and require your presence all the workday. When possible, let your boss know well in advance those critical event days when you’ve just got to attend events in your family’s life that you cannot miss out on. If you work from home part time, try to set optimal focus hours. (Thankful to those flex bosses out there who make it easier)


During a critical time in battalion command, I set “sacred hours” (they were from 5 PM to 8:30 PM) and let everyone know they could only call or bother me for only loss of life, limb or eyesight. (I’m in the Army, we’re that extreme). Otherwise, respect my time with my family and contact me during all other hours of the day and night. As a single mother, that was all the time my children had to interact with their sole parent. Because you’ve got to set time aside and really connect with your family. Quality time is called that for a reason. When your kids are young, they need that interaction.


Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s hard in our 24/7 world to just disengage and I’ve not mastered it yet. Like everyone else, I’m a work in progress but I can say my hell of a ride with my kids is totally worth it. For over a decade I’ve worked to create those small moments together at the zoo, doing homework, and walking the dogs, where kids can just see me for me. Over the years they’ve observed, firsthand, how they were always supported by a parent who worked hard and played hard. They saw a mother who could stand for something and fight for her country, while also working to make sure they were raised in a loving home.


I encourage you to ask for the time you need. It really does go by fast and for the new parents out there, yes, even the sleepless nights are short lived. You can take this step for your family and most importantly, for yourself. Go forward and find your greatness.
Location: Washington, DC, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Veterans Day 2020

Image
Veterans Day is an American national holiday celebrated on Nov. 11 that honors those who have served in the U.S. military. Originally, the holiday was known as Armistice Day, as it originated in 1919 on the first anniversary of the armistice that ended World War I. The day became an official national holiday in the United States in 1938. Congress amended the act that had made Armistice Day a holiday in 1954, striking the word “Armistice” in favor of “Veterans” to honor those who served in all U.S. wars. From 1971 to 1975, Veterans Day was celebrated on the fourth Monday in October after the 1968 passage of the Uniform Holidays Bill. The date changed back to Nov. 11 in 1975 under President Gerald Ford due to the date’s historical significance. The U.S. is not the only country that commemorates its veterans. In the United Kingdom, Remembrance Sunday is celebrated on the second Sunday of November. The United Kingdom and other Commonwealth countries such as Australia and New Zealand al...
Read more

You Suck as a Leader

Colonel Candid here in one of my most candid writings. Sometimes as much as I want to build you up, I’m also going to need you to self-reflect and find those areas where you are weakest. Let’s apply some serious elbow grease and get rid of these bad habits before they make you the leader who sucks. The reason you’re ineffective at leading could be one of several issues stemming from communication, trust, integrity, or planning. The impacts of these failures ripple across your team or organization. 1.        You talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Please, we appreciate your lofty attempts at coaching, speeches, and the numerous vision statements you’ve posted around. Unfortunately, your inaction is evident every single day. The paper-thin goals you’ve put up aren’t working because you don’t provide us with the intent. Clear communication is key and we want to understand what you want of us. 2.        You could care less...
Read more

What do you stand for?

Recently, while perusing social media I saw a post by a classmate from many years back. In this he stated that he appreciated customers of his business but he did not want to profit from people who harassed his female employees, either verbally on the phone or on-line. The company, Ranger Up , demonstrates here a perfect example of how great leaders take a stand against repugnant behaviors. As you look for companies that not only talk-the-talk look for evidence, like this, that they walk-the-walk. Here are a couple of tips from Colonel Candid on what to look for in a healthy workplace that supports women and proves what they stand for. Because we all want to work for a company where women are equitably valued and respected, participation by women is encouraged. When you’re looking at working somewhere look at how employees are seen and treated. Do you sense that recruitment of excellent talent is gender-blind? If not, then the culture is askew from the starting line. The true p...
Read more