Mentoring with Empathy


Recently, I discovered some true strengths of co-workers and mentors that reminded me of one of the greatest strengths a mentor can display, empathy. There were several people who demonstrated and understood the challenge I was going through as my mother-in-law had passed away. Often empathy is confused with sympathy. Sympathy is a feeling of concern and sense that something could make someone happier, but it doesn’t go so far as to attempt to share in the other person’s perspective. According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, empathy, is a vital supplier to develop emotional intelligence, a key skill needed as a mentor. 

 Colonel Candid presents you with three components of empathy for you to consider the next time your mentee comes to you with a problem or situation requiring empathy.


 The first is cognitive empathy, this is the understanding of what the person is likely feeling or thinking. Although you’re not emotionally engaged, you can still use this to help you understand what someone is feeling. A rational approach, cognitive empathy is the first step in understanding but for a mentor it keeps you a bit too neutral.


 The next level is affective empathy where you’re changed (affected) by demonstrating empathy about another person’s feelings. This deeper level of understanding allows you to create a genuine connection with your mentee. This type of empathy builds trust and develops a level of honesty and openness with another person.


Lastly, and most actively is compassionate empathy where your mentorship demonstrates a concern, shares in the emotional distress, and takes active steps to reduce the discomfort. As a benevolent mentor you demonstrate this type of compassion by putting aside time for your mentee when they’re demonstrating feelings of vulnerability after getting hurt. You can affirm their reaction, offer support and provide guidance on how to process the situation. If it’s something they need to work on, you can offer practical advice for steps to take the next time they face this situation.


 Advice from Colonel Candid to anyone who is mentoring during a period of loss or grief, give people you’re speaking with your full attention. Put down your phone, turn off the binging email sound, and simply take time to listen. In today’s world this is really hard, and you may find yourself having to develop this skill. Personally reflect and see how you respond to people who confide in you when they share bad news. Pay attention to how people act and what they might focus on. You may see that some people don’t require much empathy until those still small moments. Treasure that they trust you with their vulnerability and help them find their way through this tough time and onward to their greatness.
Location: Huntsville, AL, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Veterans Day 2020

Image
Veterans Day is an American national holiday celebrated on Nov. 11 that honors those who have served in the U.S. military. Originally, the holiday was known as Armistice Day, as it originated in 1919 on the first anniversary of the armistice that ended World War I. The day became an official national holiday in the United States in 1938. Congress amended the act that had made Armistice Day a holiday in 1954, striking the word “Armistice” in favor of “Veterans” to honor those who served in all U.S. wars. From 1971 to 1975, Veterans Day was celebrated on the fourth Monday in October after the 1968 passage of the Uniform Holidays Bill. The date changed back to Nov. 11 in 1975 under President Gerald Ford due to the date’s historical significance. The U.S. is not the only country that commemorates its veterans. In the United Kingdom, Remembrance Sunday is celebrated on the second Sunday of November. The United Kingdom and other Commonwealth countries such as Australia and New Zealand al
Read more

Motherhood in National Security and Defense (speech notes)

Image
  Motherhood in National Security and Defense by Candice E. Frost How to maintain your sanity as a professional, spouse, and mother during a highly tumultuous period in the nation's history. Perspectives given on motherhood during children's infancy, preschool, elementary school, middle school and high school. Wonderful women in national security and defense, welcome to mothering in chaos…feels like episode 5,000 Motherhood is a high cost/ high reward activity I received, “What to Expect when you’re expecting” by three people. I then asked, where’s the next edition, “When to Expect for the rest of their lives”? First thing you can check out is Love Rutledge’s “FedUpward” podcast, especially episode 40, and her facebook page FedUpward parents I also appreciated her appro contextualize this time frame as “Wakadoodle” when it comes to finding childcare. During the months of March and April mother’s work hours fell 4-5 times as much as fathers. Women scaled back 5% o
Read more

You Suck as a Leader

Colonel Candid here in one of my most candid writings. Sometimes as much as I want to build you up, I’m also going to need you to self-reflect and find those areas where you are weakest. Let’s apply some serious elbow grease and get rid of these bad habits before they make you the leader who sucks. The reason you’re ineffective at leading could be one of several issues stemming from communication, trust, integrity, or planning. The impacts of these failures ripple across your team or organization. 1.        You talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Please, we appreciate your lofty attempts at coaching, speeches, and the numerous vision statements you’ve posted around. Unfortunately, your inaction is evident every single day. The paper-thin goals you’ve put up aren’t working because you don’t provide us with the intent. Clear communication is key and we want to understand what you want of us. 2.        You could care less about your team. It’s evident that you micro-manage when
Read more